The Time: 2 AM
The Place: My room
Me: I'm going to sleep now.
My Mind: Cool. Aight.
Me: Goodnight.
My Mind: Night.
(Silence)
My Mind: So you made sure the front door was locked, right?
Me: Yup.
(Silence)
My Mind: It probably doesn't matter, anyway, because I mean, we live in the middle of the country. So probably no one will be around to even mess with the front door.
Me: Good point, yes.
My Mind: But if there *were* anyone poking around, they'd probably be harmless. Probably not a convicted murderer or a demented hillbilly.
Me: No.
My Mind: That's not even something you should think about.
Me: No, I won't.
(Silence)
My Mind: So you're sleeping on your back?
Me: Yeah.
My Mind. Oh, interesting.
(Silence)
My Mind: Remember that one time you read that article about sleep hypnosis? Like, how sometimes people are half-awake and half-asleep, and they have a nightmare while they're in that state? And they hallucinate about a talking black cloud or a horrible bony woman crouching on their chest?
Me: ...yes...
My Mind: Seems to me I remember it was more likely to happen if you sleep on your back.
(Silence)
My Mind: I bet the hallucination of the old lady would be exactly like that picture you saw on a haunted house at the state fair once when you were nine that's been stuck in your brain ever since.
Me: I guess.
My Mind: Just sayin'.
Me: God dammit.
(I flip over and lie on my stomach.)
My Mind: This is better. Although I guess the disadvantage to this would be, if someone grabbed your ankles right now, you would find it that much more difficult to kick them and escape. Of course, it would probably be some kind of horrible ghost. Possibly even the supernaturally strong and furiously angry ghost of a little Hispanic child, with gouged out eyes and stringy black hair and-
Me: Let's think about something else.
My Mind: Ok!
(Silence)
My Mind: Did you hear that noise just then?
Me: ...yes....it was probably my bed creaking.
My Mind: Sounded like knocking on the window to me.
And that's why I'm still awake.
