What I Think About In Class

PROFESSOR: So this comet will be coming by the earth tonight.  Now, there's absolutely no chance it's going to hit us, so don't listen to the internet.

MY FACE: Yes, yes, I see, quite.

MY BRAIN: How do we know the comet won't hit us?  WHAT IF IT WANTS US TO THINK THAT?  WHAT IF IT'S AN EVIL COMET BENT ON WIPING OUT MANKIND AND NOW WE ARE UNSUSPECTING AND DEFENSELESS?

PROFESSOR: The asteroid is about the size of an aircraft carrier, except that the aircraft carrier is hollow inside.

MY FACE: Yes, quite so, I am an intelligent college student.

MY BRAIN: That's a hurtful thing to say about the aircraft carrier.

PROFESSOR: So far we've only been able to collect samples from the Moon, a comet, and the Sun.

MY FACE: I am listening to literally every single thing you are saying.

MY BRAIN: ....from the sun?

And finally, freedom.  I thought I had conquered my brain until later that day in discussion section.

WORDS ON PAPER: Discuss the controversy surrounding "sound science."

THE SMART PART OF MY BRAIN: Obviously, the difference between science which is sound and science which is unsound.

THE PART OF MY BRAIN I USE: SOUND SCIENCE SOUNDS EXCITING.

And now you know what my mind is doing with its several-thousand-dollar college education.